Semis and standstill traffic

I really hate standstill traffic.  I know you do too.  But I'm guessing that you hate it less, because you are probably not one of the remnant fifty or so people driving stickshifts in the U.S.  Because everything is stop, go, stop, go, clutch in, clutch out a little? no no, clutch in...I like to get behind a semi.  They have the same problem I do, except multiply it by a million gears, a few tons, and maybe having to double clutch each time.  So they like to roll very, very slowly.  I was in standstill traffic the other day (because of a wreck, which I'll describe later), and so I got over early into the lanes that weren't blocked by the wreck and I got behind a semi (and incidentally in front of and beside a few other semis), and I thought things would be cool.  But this was not your ordinary traffic jam, and so it ended up that anytime the semi in front of me started rolling slowly, dependably, conservatively forward, it went so slowly that I couldn't even get into gear.  My clutch chatters, so I need to get my car's RPM up enough that the gear will take without freaking out.  This is all great until I'm in gear, the car is suddenly going about 5 MPH and I already need to brake hard so that I don't get a face full of tractor trailer not-so-crumple zone.  By the end of the however-long duration I'd spent behind this semi, I would just let it get forward a lot, get my car in gear for a little bit, and then stomp the brake and the clutch and sit still again.  It was unpleasant.  Even worse was the cause of the wreck.

Now I've seen at least one bad accident.  I'll probably describe it in another post (maybe later today or tomorrow).  But let's just say that in that accident, a pickup flipped, a million EMS folks were trying to get the driver out of the car, and then they weren't trying anymore.  It was terrifying, and it made me reflect on my mortality and the dangers of the road, and how the hell I would handle any situation where I flipped over or where someone flipped over in front of me.  The wreck that caused the traffic jam above, though--that was just dumb.

I flipped on the radio at exactly the right time.  Something like this:  "So, and the DOT is saying it was not a street sweeper, more like a vacuum cleaner...a cleaning vehicle was traveling on the side of the road, and a tractor trailer struck it from behind.  Folks, if you're planning to go out near Beaver Ruin Rd., you will probably want to stay clear of there until about one in the morning since there is a lot of cleanup to be done and a lot of emergency vehicles at the site.  We do have report of one injury..." and I shut off the radio.  My immediate thought was, "So a semi, crashed into a fucking vacuum cleaner, on the side of the fucking road, and here I sit."  I couldn't believe it.  How do you not see a gigantic vacuum cleaning vehicle on the side of the road?  When I drove by (finally), the cleaning vehicle was gone, and the semi (cab, trailer, and all) remained.  I felt bad.  I know semis have got to cost a lot a lot of money, and the cab was pretty crunched up, the headlights were knocked out, and there was no telling whether or not all the rubble on the road was from the semi or the cleaner.  It looked like a relatively new semi, too.  Ugh.  It was just really dumb.  Overall, I would say it was a really dumb experience.

And also, while I was behind my semi during the standstill, I noticed my car creeping up on the semi.  Maybe at one mile an hour or so.  I absolutely stood on the brake.  My car kept crawling, kept crawling, and I was about to start thinking outside the box (e-brake, ignition off, anything).  But then my sense crept in and I realized the effing semi was just rolling back slowly.  Before I could start freaking out about that, though, the rolling stopped and he drove forward again.  Good grief.

Another tidbit: after the traffic jam was cleared, everyone sped up ridiculously.  It was basically everyone going 75 in a 55 MPH zone (the assumed speed limit in or around Atlanta is LIMIT+20), with a couple people going 95.  I was going a modest 77 when I got passed by a Dekalb county cop doing 85.  You're a cop.  I know you're in Georgia, and Atlanta, Georgia at that.  But you're still a cop.

Anyway, lessons learned:  if you are a semi, watch out for vacuum cleaning vehicles on the side of the road.  If you are a vacuum cleaning vehicle, keep yourself off of the road so semis don't accidentally hit you.  If you are an Allison, and you are behind a semi, your brakes have not failed you, the driver of the semi has failed you.  If you are a cop, and you are going 85 in a 55 MPH zone, I am completely disregarding your state's speed limits from now on (aww, Georgia, like I didn't before...).