If you don't know how to drive a stick, you probably either A) never wanted to learn, or B) never got the chance. For the individuals of letter B--your next car will be a stickshift. No--no objections. Just learn it. It's better that way. And as for the individuals of letter A--this post targets you. The following is a laundry list of reasons to stop being so lame. Also most things I will be saying are completely in jest, so please don't take offense. I will also be making fun of stick elitists like myself, because we are pretty unreasonable. So without further ado--why the vast majority of you are wrong-headed and silly.
Car control. I can floor my car while I'm in fourth and I will actually stay in fourth. If I want to access the power available to me in third, I can choose to do it. My car will not drop me into second without my express direction. This is in contrast to automatics, where if you step far enough down on the pedal, you're gonna get shot down into a lower gear unexpectedly and, depending upon how much horsepower you have, your hat might fall off. When you purposefully shift down into a lower gear in a manual, you know you're gonna have to catch that hat.
Learning a lost art. It's like learning scrimshaw or tapestry-weaving, except it's functional. People who can do it or are interested in learning understand why it's so super-great(!); others find it harder to comprehend. Why would I learn how to row through gears manually when I can just lean back and step on the gas and let the car take care of everything? Right. And why would you weave tapestry? Because if no one did it, it would take something away from the world that made the world a better place. It is your moral obligation as a human to preserve beauty in this world, and if you are not driving a stickshift you are negatively affecting the value of humanity. And if you don't think stickshifting is a beautiful thing, you're probably right. I don't know. On to the next.
Supporting a dying breed. This is along similar lines to the previous one. "Progress" threatens to take away the third pedal forever. Speedier shift changes in paddle-shifter supercars have all but obviated manual transmissions for folks who care about things like lap times instead of fun (and nostalgia) and tradition. Meanwhile, sales of manual transmissions have decreased from probably about fifty-fifty with automatics in the '50's (great mnemonic) to about 4% last year. And for some freaky reason, in 2012 the number of manuals sold jumped to about 7%. VICTORY YOU GUYS. Everyone can go home now! But seriously, there ain't none anymore. In fact, chances are that your parents can drive them but you can't. And that is something to be ashamed of.
Paying attention to the road. Your left hand controls the wheel. Your right hand controls the
gearshift. Do you have a third hand for a cell phone? Didn't think
so. Of course the other side to this is that if you're still
stubbornly going to talk on the phone, you're stuck with sandwiching
it between your shoulder and your ear and looking at the road at a 45
degree angle—I definitely have never, ever done this in my life.
Ever.
Having fun and feeling good about yourself. Yes, the first few days of learning to drive a stick are filled with grief and overwhelming shame. Yes you will stall in the middle of intersections. Yes you will make your car make scary noises, jump, and over-rev (I couldn't figure out how to pull straight back from 3rd into 4th...I always pulled it back to me, into second, and then my engine was at 4 or 5,000 RPMs going ERRRRNNRNNNNNRNNNN and I was attempting to troubleshoot as I panicked). BUT. But. Once you get good at it, you will learn to shift perfectly almost every time. You will learn to rev match so everything is smooth. Sometimes there will be people in your car who apparently don't have spines and who leeeeean forward every time you shift. You will feel guilty and you will learn to shift such that this doesn't happen. You will shift a million times on your way to work, you will do it well each time, and you will feel good about yourself. It's an easy pick me up. My favorite thing to do is drive my car.
Anti-theft bonus. This might be wrong (I did hear it on the Internet), but apparently no car thief, ever, anywhere, can drive a stick shift. Few car thieves are classy enough to.
And if you guys really need another justification, here's a link to a video of Ayrton Senna driving an NSX in loafers heel-toeing (is that a verb?). I hope someday I'll be half this cool, or, hell, at the least be able to heel-toe.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8By2AEsGAhU
You're welcome.
Having fun and feeling good about yourself. Yes, the first few days of learning to drive a stick are filled with grief and overwhelming shame. Yes you will stall in the middle of intersections. Yes you will make your car make scary noises, jump, and over-rev (I couldn't figure out how to pull straight back from 3rd into 4th...I always pulled it back to me, into second, and then my engine was at 4 or 5,000 RPMs going ERRRRNNRNNNNNRNNNN and I was attempting to troubleshoot as I panicked). BUT. But. Once you get good at it, you will learn to shift perfectly almost every time. You will learn to rev match so everything is smooth. Sometimes there will be people in your car who apparently don't have spines and who leeeeean forward every time you shift. You will feel guilty and you will learn to shift such that this doesn't happen. You will shift a million times on your way to work, you will do it well each time, and you will feel good about yourself. It's an easy pick me up. My favorite thing to do is drive my car.
Anti-theft bonus. This might be wrong (I did hear it on the Internet), but apparently no car thief, ever, anywhere, can drive a stick shift. Few car thieves are classy enough to.
And if you guys really need another justification, here's a link to a video of Ayrton Senna driving an NSX in loafers heel-toeing (is that a verb?). I hope someday I'll be half this cool, or, hell, at the least be able to heel-toe.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8By2AEsGAhU
You're welcome.
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